Happiness

This is it. I am sick of my emo-mood! Enough is enough. I have been depressed and sentimental for the last year. That all belongs to 2008 now. This year everything will be different. I will be the strong independent woman I promised myself to be. No more tears, no more hurt, no more over analyzing.

If a guy wants to be with me, he will be with me. He will find a way. I have to stop making excuses, and I definitely have to stop trying to find the blame with me. I mean I go on dates and everything goes well... until he tells me he has a girlfriend. Obviously I am not to blame for that. How was I supposed to know? I still really don't understand why a guy that is in a steady relationship goes on dates with single girls, but hey, at least I learned something new. First question: "Do you have a girlfriend?" Right before I ask what's your name and can I have your number! That is for sure.

Now I have a long-distance flirt with a guy that I dated for two weeks when I was back in the Philippines and rumor has it he has a long-distance relationship with another girl. But how do you ask someone you are not dating if the rumors are true? Well, you don't.

Improved me doesn't care. We don't live in the same country, we are not a couple and we probably won't be in the near future, so why should I risk our "friendship"? The way it is now I get some nice messages every few days and it makes me feel good.

That is the 2009 me. Selfish! It is just going to be me. I am going to do whatever makes me happy and whatever doesn't: GOODBYE!!!!

I always watch out for everyone else, make sure they are happy and that my girlfriends don't date the wrong guys and if they do fall for the bad type I tell them, loud and clear. 

I still haven't figured out why I can always analyze everyone elses relationship. Tell them what to do and how to do it. I make them feel better when they are sad and depressed and I am happy for them when they are excited about something great (or boring) that has happened to them.

But with me... I date the wrong guys, I don't listen to anyones advice and I always get hurt and never figure out how to fix myself.

Time for a change. Time to make the right choice. Time to be HAPPY