Paranoia

"I am so sorry, but I don't know how to fix the shit I've done and you'll never know that I broke my own heart twice as much as yours."

I've made many mistakes in my life. Some of them I am definitely not proud of...
The worst thing about messing up, is actually the consequences it takes with it. Not only do you have to face the person you actually care for but you also have to, after all has been said and done, live with what you have done.

Many relationships fall apart because of human error. We make mistakes, we hurt the people we love, and worse... we hurt ourselves.

I always thought that the pain would eventually go away... I messed up, I have to live with the consequences. Little did I know, that not only do you have to live with the fact that you may have destroyed something great, no, on top of it, you actually becoming paranoid for your further relationships.

So paranoid that you don't even have to mess up to start thinking you did something wrong.

How many times has it happened that I start reading things into what my boyfriend does,how he acts, what he says... And the only question in my mind in that moment is "What did I do?".

Of course everyone always thinks the cheater is the one to be blamed and the cheated one should get all the sympathy... but when you think about it, the cheater is worse off.

Not only does he (in most of the cases) feel hurt because he lost someone dear to him but he also loses his self coincidence. The only question pondering in a cheaters head is "WHY? Why was I so stupid?"

Future relationships can only suffer from such a thinking... every single action is being read and analyzed. Every word is being weighed...

I am not saying forgive every cheater and show some sympathy I am just saying... people make mistakes, and if these people are your friends, you should have a shoulder for them to lean on, because no matter whose fault it is, getting hurt is never nice...