Making the right choice

I have a boyfriend that I adore. When I am with him I can feel like I can be just me. I don't need to look perfect at all times, we can goof around, we can have romantic moments and we can look into each others eyes and feel like the whole world just stops turning for a few moments.

I am twenty and I think I am falling in love with him.

My whole life I was wondering how it feels to have that one special someone in my life. The one that you just enjoy being with... 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. The one person that makes you feel like you don't need anyone else but him.

I found that person. N gives me everything I need. He understands me, makes me laugh and we have the best time together. Why can I never be happy with what I have?

I met a guy a few weeks back. A is not bad looking, filthy rich and loves taking me out to dinner or shopping. He is the kind of guy a girl can really "use" if she is a bitch.

Who doesn't want to have a boyfriend like this? He takes you on holidays, makes you feel like a princess, shows you the world and pampers you the way you deserve it.

But when I am with him I feel like I need to be perfect. My hair has to look a certain way, my make-up has to be right, I have to watch how I talk and I would never lie on his couch in my jogging pants watching a silly girl movie.

So how do you make a choice? Should you be with the guy with whom you can be just you or should you be with the guy that can make all your wildest dreams come true?

I am twenty... I am not supposed to have my one big love hit me right now... I still have a few years before I have to settle down.

But what if I give away what I have now because I am greedy and always want more? What if I make the wrong choice and end up losing?

I am confused. I am lost. I don't know where to stand and what to do.