My boyfriend didn't call today.
He didn't message, didn't send me an e-mail and did not call.
He never does that normally. Even when we are just 200 meters away from each other for a day, because I am in class and he is working, I get a message asking me what I am doing or telling me at what time he will be home or how he feels.
Today... nothing.
I don't know how I feel about this. There was a time a few days ago where I was sure that this relationship was over. That maybe we were just meant to be friends and I should just enjoy my life with whoever and whatever comes with it.
Then I remember the way he smells, or the way we lie in bed and look into each other's eyes. These moments are special. The magic is somehow in the air... but these moments are becoming fewer and fewer and I don't know how to get them back.
I am not a fighter. I give up and walk away before leaving becomes to painful.
I think I love him, I think he could love me... and I also think it is too late for us to be happy together. Too much has been left unsaid. Too much stands between us two. We know what it is, but both of us are scared to say it out loud.
So we keep it inside us. Keep it far away from where it could break our hearts and just wait... wait for us to wake up one morning feeling too tired to continue, too exhausted to fight anymore... We wait until there is nothing left too said and we are just two strangers that have missed their chance on being happy together...
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