Asking questions is hard, because the truth is not always what we want to hear...

I met a guy. He's great. We get along perfectly. We're friends. We're lovers. I am happy.

But as usual, whenever everything goes right, I stress out... I look for that one thing that could make it all go wrong.

Whenever I am in a relationship, I try so hard to be perfect. I never complain, I do whatever my partner wants to do, I don't bitch, I don't act jealous, I pretend I am not moody even when I am... I try to be the perfect person and usually when it's too late I realise that I've been acting like a robot that has no feelings, no opinion and no desires.

I know the guy I am dating is getting messages from his ex-girlfriend. I know he used to not reply to them. I know he replies to them now and is tense after he did. I know she is miles and miles away on a different continent. Those are the things I know. Those are the ONLY things I know.

But then there is the stuff I read between the lines or that I basically just invent. She is still hung up on him. She was the love of his life. He loves her but can't be with her because of the distance. I'll never be as good as her.... all these things that I have no clue about but I still live like they are real.

Any normal person would just go and ASK. Ask what is going on, who that girl is, what's the history behind it. Not only because the answer is probably less harmful than thinking about all types of weird scenarios but also because it is probably only in my head...

And if it's not... Well, I should know, shouldn't I. I should know if it's worth investing myself into it or if it's better to let it go before I end up getting more hurt. No one wants to know the truth because we are terrified that it will not be nice to hear. But sometimes, just sometimes it is actually relieving news. It takes a weight off our chest.

I lost hope in a perfect love a long time ago. I consider myself unlucky and an expert in unsuccessful relationship. And at the same time I am thinking that it is time for me to be happy again.

So if I don't ask any questions, how can I expect to receive the answers I want to hear?