Look at me

I always thought the worst way you can hurt someone is by cheating on them. Having cheated and been cheated on, I know what pain you can cause by doing something like that...

I am what some people could call a pretty girl and I do like to wear shorts skirts and nice dresses. Without wanting to brag, but getting attention is something I enjoy... most of the time. Of course, just like celebrities, not being able to just go to the groceries without getting a stupid comment from a guy crossing your path is not exactly the most enjoyable moment...

But that is not what this is about. I was walking to work today when this handsome man caught my attention, and apparently I caught his. He called me fabulous, beautiful, perfect... all the things a girl just loves to hear. And for a weird reason, hearing them made me feel incredibly weird.

All this time I have been trying to figure out what this feeling was and I realised, I feel sad. Upset. I want to cry. And why? Because my boyfriend doesn't see me. Or at least it feels that way. Of course I can tell he is physically attracted to me, of course I see the effects different pieces of clothing have on him... but he doesn't look at me and tells me I'm pretty. And even though sometimes I feel like I can read it in his eyes not hearing it hurts. Five months and no compliments so far. Not a single one.

People say actions speak louder than words. So I should appreciate it when he holds me in his arms and looks me in the eyes like we are the only two people in the world. And don't get me wrong, I do. I appreciate it very much and it always makes my heart melt. But when I tell him I miss him, and he doesn't answer back it hurts. When I don't see him for 3 weeks and I don't get a single sweet word it doesn't feel like I am his girlfriend anymore, but more like I am his friend.

I guess the part that hurts is not that he doesn't see me... but maybe it is the fact that I know I am falling in love and it sure feels like he is not...