I've told myself that this time would be different. I told myself that the day when I wake up and am not happy in my relationship anymore I would give up.
It seemed so realistic, so easy, so normal when I first thought of this... and yet I am having such a hard time implementing it.
Empty promises, unanswered phone calls and messages, lame excuses... that has been my daily routine for two weeks now. And yet I am still sticking around. Thinking if I should fight a little bit more even though it seems so obvious that in this case, leaving wouldn't mean giving up, it would be dumping all the unnecessary crap.
So why can't I do it? It could all be done in just a single phone call. One short sentence. It's over.
Every time something more gets added to the list. I say to myself: "This is it. I'm done. Screw him." And yet I don't tell him how I feel. I don't scream, shout, cry like I would like too.
I just stick around, quiet. Waiting for him to realize he misses me and needs me in his life. I know I can wait for a long time for this to happen, and I know I should have left long time ago.
I don't give up. Never. Only losers do that.
But what if in this case, it would be the smart thing to do? I am not happy, am constantly upset and am lying to myself, so why oh why can't I just leave him behind?
It seemed so realistic, so easy, so normal when I first thought of this... and yet I am having such a hard time implementing it.
Empty promises, unanswered phone calls and messages, lame excuses... that has been my daily routine for two weeks now. And yet I am still sticking around. Thinking if I should fight a little bit more even though it seems so obvious that in this case, leaving wouldn't mean giving up, it would be dumping all the unnecessary crap.
So why can't I do it? It could all be done in just a single phone call. One short sentence. It's over.
Every time something more gets added to the list. I say to myself: "This is it. I'm done. Screw him." And yet I don't tell him how I feel. I don't scream, shout, cry like I would like too.
I just stick around, quiet. Waiting for him to realize he misses me and needs me in his life. I know I can wait for a long time for this to happen, and I know I should have left long time ago.
I don't give up. Never. Only losers do that.
But what if in this case, it would be the smart thing to do? I am not happy, am constantly upset and am lying to myself, so why oh why can't I just leave him behind?
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