Ich bin ein Berliner

So I just came back from a three days two nights trip to Berlin. There so much sightseeing to do that I came back with a fractured toe from all the walking, so if ever you end up going to Berlin, make sure to bring really good shoes!

Berlin has a lot to offer. Museum island, old Stasi jails, the wall, the parliament and many many other tourist stops you'll be sure to find in any guides.

Friday night was well spent in "Sage Restaurant", in a very trendy restaurant that serves great food in a lounge atmosphere. You need to try one of their cocktails, the Saje mojito and eat an original and huge Wiener Schnitzel.

Everyone wants to eat a Currywurst when in Berlin, but whoever wants to eat one in a classy environment should have it at "the Adlon" , one of the best hotels in Berlin. As beautiful as the Adlon is, the room rates are way out of my budget.

The design hotel "Cosmo Hotel Berlin Mitte" where I stayed was a real good choice. If ever you end up making a room booking make sure to ask for a room on the 7th or 8th floor overlooking the backside of the hotel (away from the main street). From your balcony you'll have an amazing view of the city.

Saturday night was spent in a quieter place, but still serving very good food in a trendy atmosphere called the "Bond Bar". Placed in Charlottenburg it is surrounded by a lot of trendy clubs and bars where you can enjoy a drink after dinner.

Berlin has a great shopping district near the Alexanderplatz, along the Münzstrasse and neue Schönhauser Strasse. You can find all sorts of shops you find in every other city as well, including a huge "Adidas" store where you can customize your own sneakers. There also is really nice "Converse" store that has a huge selection.

I personally enjoyed exploring the little alleys here and there where you can find local designers exposing in backstreet courtyards. There are also a lot of designers exposing more public such as "Drykorn, clothes for beautiful people" that actually has a boutique for men, one for women and one for suits.

Breakfast can be taken in this area as well, to get some strength before doing all the shopping. I had some really good baked eggs with parma ham and a big glass of bio apple juice at the "Oliv Bar", which is a quaint little place that gives you a living room vibe. If you are up for meeting local people, sit on the big square table that is smack in the middle of that small restaurant and start a conversation with the people sitting next to you. Everyone is so nice, it won't be too hard.

Berlin was an amazing city to visit and I really enjoyed seeing it. Can't wait to go there again and discover some new spots such as the "Solar Bar", which had been recommended to me since it gives you an amazing view of the city but was unfortunately fully booked during my stay. Make sure to call in advance to make a dinner reservation. They are only open in the evening so call them after 6 p.m.

Building a home away from home

It's every girls dream to live in Paris. The city of love: synonym of fashion, architechtural wonders, glamour and passion. I've had a dream about living in Paris a long time ago. And one day my dream became reality, only for me to realize I didn't want it anymore...

From the very beginning on, I've been yearning to leave Paris. Go somewhere that feels more like home. It was a weird feeling, because it wasn't the first time I had left the safety of family surroundings to move into a new city. And to be honest, this move was actually the easiest one. I have a nice place, in a nice area, a good job with a not too shabby salary. The situation had been worse on plenty of occasions.

When I was 18 and moved away it was all exciting and new. I rarely felt homesick. In college I was surrounded by my friends and two months holidays usually helped me tank up energy for another semester far away from home. But school is not the real life. When you're in school there is still some room to just quit, go home, lick your wounds and start again. Work on the other hand is not that simple. You can't just quit, because you're upset or homesick. You can't just take holidays whenever you want. You need to plan ahead. Pay your bills. Live the real life as they like to call it.

Living in Paris has not been the experience I've dreamed of. It surely has been glamourous but the love and the beauty of the city have gotten lost along the way at some point.

My sister blogged about Paris and how we need to build a relationship with the city we live in, and she made me realize something. I've been making up excuses to explain my unhappiness about living in one of the most gorgeous cities in the world, I kept on telling anyone that would listen to the whining that: "Home is where the heart is. And my heart is with my family and friends in the Philippines". Hearing my sister speak about Paris in a way, that I once used to think of it like, I've finally figured out what's wrong. I left my heart far, far away, somewhere between my two homes Munich and Manila, locked in a safe, with a big, thick vault door guarding it, fearing I would break it, if I brought it with me to Paris.

Moving to Paris meant moving away from everything I've ever known. It meant suddenly being at the very least one flight away. It meant that if I was going to get hurt, no one would be there to catch me if I fell. At least that's what I thought...

I left my heart in what used to be my home instead of bringing it here to build a new one. So it won't be easy and I can't promise anything, but I'll try bringing my heart back to Paris and see the city for what it really is. My new home.

It's all about fixing what's broken...

Somewhere along the way my heart broke. Not just a crack, a small scar you can look at to remember something that once happened in life, nothing like that... A real scar. A tear. A break. I'm not sure if I can even recall when it happened. Or maybe my head is keeping me from remembering, because it's trying to protect me.

I've never been someone to walk around and talk about my feelings to other people. When I hurt, I hurt by myself. I sit in front of the mirror and watch the tears roll down my face and just wonder, how did it get this far?

I was once told not to choose partners for the wrong reasons. "Do not let sentimentality influence your decisions, especially those involving the choice of a partner. You need to be needed, but you must learn to discriminate between those you can help and others who are made weaker by your care. It is your tendency to take responsibility, you often fill the void left by others..." I haven't listened to this advice. I still don't. The more dramatic, painful and filled with tears my relationship were, the more I fought for them to work. I always took responsibility for others people pain even though their heart wasn't for me to fix.

I need to stop trying to fix other people, because I need to fix myself. I can't continue living my life half-heartedly, just because I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders. I try to fix the pain in other people's lives, but I didn't cause it, and I need to understand that because of that it is not for me fix.

I'm twenty-two and I'm already tired. That's not what I had in mind when I dreamt about the future.

It's time for be to focus on myself. And if people want to call me selfish, then they call me selfish. But I've given too much for too long, to think that being selfish for once is something bad. Being selfish is the best thing I can do for myself at the moment. It's the only way I know to heal myself. And God knows I really need to.