Someone once told me that in order to get over someone, you need to get under someone else. I took that advice in a physical as well as psychological way. I engaged into a brand new relationship, right after the one I had broke into a million pieces. And to be honest, it is working quite well as long as I don't bump into my ex, and I feel like the air is being sucked out of the room.
This new guy, he is pretty amazing. We can talk about everything and nothing. Every moment we spend together is precious. We laugh all the time and his hugs make you close your eyes and forget about all the bad things in your life.
For the past three weeks I have enjoyed his company more than anything else in the world. And now I am leaving. 5 more days and I am gone. All this time I wonder, what if we would have met earlier? Would we have managed to stay together? And what am I supposed to do now?
I don't know if the feelings I have are just coming out of a broken heart or if I am actually genuinely falling in love. I don't think I know what love is anymore. I just know that when I am with him, I feel warm and safe. I feel like the world doesn't exist anymore and I could spend my night looking into his eyes.
My friend says I can't be alone and that I need to learn how to, before I can fall in love with someone. Maybe that is true. Maybe I can't fall in love with someone because even though I commit my heart to 99%, there is still that 1% that is missing to give it all. I know how it feels to get my heart broken and that is something I don't wish any of my enemies.
I wish I could close my eyes and see where I am ten years from now. I wish I could know that everything will be alright and that I will be happy. I wish I could be certain that something good is waiting for me in the future. Because I am terrified of never being able to give that 100% to someone. I am scared that I'll never be able to give my whole heart to another person. Because if I don't manage to do that, how am I supposed to fall in love again?
This new guy, he is pretty amazing. We can talk about everything and nothing. Every moment we spend together is precious. We laugh all the time and his hugs make you close your eyes and forget about all the bad things in your life.
For the past three weeks I have enjoyed his company more than anything else in the world. And now I am leaving. 5 more days and I am gone. All this time I wonder, what if we would have met earlier? Would we have managed to stay together? And what am I supposed to do now?
I don't know if the feelings I have are just coming out of a broken heart or if I am actually genuinely falling in love. I don't think I know what love is anymore. I just know that when I am with him, I feel warm and safe. I feel like the world doesn't exist anymore and I could spend my night looking into his eyes.
My friend says I can't be alone and that I need to learn how to, before I can fall in love with someone. Maybe that is true. Maybe I can't fall in love with someone because even though I commit my heart to 99%, there is still that 1% that is missing to give it all. I know how it feels to get my heart broken and that is something I don't wish any of my enemies.
I wish I could close my eyes and see where I am ten years from now. I wish I could know that everything will be alright and that I will be happy. I wish I could be certain that something good is waiting for me in the future. Because I am terrified of never being able to give that 100% to someone. I am scared that I'll never be able to give my whole heart to another person. Because if I don't manage to do that, how am I supposed to fall in love again?
